When in France, kiss, don’t hug!

Camille Chevalier Karfis 06/01/12

If hugging is a common greeting in the United States among friends and family, French people almost never hug.

When I arrived for the first time in the US, it was so awkward to me that it actually took me about six years to feel comfortable enough to truly hug my friends.

Frenchmen mostly shake hands: a firm, strong handshake, looking into the eyes. If you are really happy to see the person, you may cover your handshake with your other hand.

Women shake hands in a professional situation, or if they don’t know each other at all, but move on to kissing very quickly, even at work among colleagues – with both genders. For example, you may arrive at a party and shake hands, then socialize, make friends, and get kissed when you leave.

Camille Chevalier Karfis, 06/01/2012

The kiss is more of an air kiss, but the cheeks do touch, unlike the mocking American air kiss.

Parisians usually kiss twice, once on each cheek, and it will feel weird if you stop at one. In other parts of France, the custom is to kiss up to four times.

This is also a question of social class. The higher up in social class, the less kissing and more handshaking. In more relaxed social classes or with younger crowds, men often kiss each other. Always on the cheeks, usually twice. They may even hug a bit, but more of a ‘tap on the back’ kind of motion, not a big American hug.

Camille Chevalier Karfis 01/06/12Learn more about kissing and hugging in my French Politeness masterclass.

un baiser = general for a kiss
un bisou = colloquial word for a kiss
Both un baiser/un bisou could be romantic (sur la bouche) or friendly (sur la joue).
une bise = colloquial for a kiss on the cheek (to say hi or goodbye)
embrasser (verb) = to kiss
s’embrasser (verb) = to kiss each other
baiser (verb) = used to be ‘to kiss’, but has switched meaning through time. Now it means ‘to f**k’.

Careful not to mistake the very common noun un baiser with the vulgar verb baiser. The correct verb to use for ‘to kiss’ is ‘embrasser’. If you said to someone “je vous baise“, it will not be well taken … Say “je t’embrasse” or “je vous embrasse” instead.

Image Credits:
1. French greetings, via Easytobook Blog
2. Camille Chevalier Karfis
3. How to greet people in France, via eHow

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Camille Chevalier-Karfis

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One Comment

  1. Julie Gourichon Jun 16, 2012 at 10:24 PM - Reply

    Je suis aussi très mal à l’aise avec les “hug”. Je vis à Londres et une fois, un collègue a voulu me prendre dans ses bras pour me dire bonjour. J’ai pas su quoi dire, ni quoi faire. Au final, je le lui ai rendu mais je lui ai dit. En france, on ne fait pas ça. C’est pas naturel et je ne me sens pas à l’aise avec cette pratique. Par contre, un autre de mes collègues me fait souvent la bise. Ça, ça va. Ça ne me dérange pas. 🙂 C’est marrant.

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