Why Moving to France Changed Our Lives: Lessons from the Countryside

It also played a key role in our decision to leave the U.S. for good.

Our first trip beyond Paris, to stay with farmers Bertrand and Lorraine on their remote summer farm, introduced us to a side of France most tourists never see—a place where food, community, and nature were deeply interconnected, shaping a lifestyle in harmony with the rhythms of the land. Or at least that’s what Bertrand and Lorraine were trying to make for themselves.

Image credit: Lac Pavin, The Auverne – Keith Christiansen

La France Profonde – Auvergne

Most French people view the Auvergne as a quiet, rural region known for its natural beauty and traditional way of life. It can also be seen as isolated and old-fashioned, far removed from the fast pace of major cities. In the small crossroads of a town where Bertrand and Lorraine lived, the population “exploded” from 20 to 22 when we arrived—a joke Bertrand seemed to make with each new arrival.

We quickly connected with them. they were more than just our hosts—they were teachers, guiding us through the lessons of rural life, providing a kind of model of what we thought we wanted for ourselves, and exploring that possibility. Their advice, especially Bertrand’s reflection on doing things sooner rather than waiting for the perfect moment, continues to shape our decisions today, even if we apply that advice a bit unevenly.

Food, Farming, and the Power of Nature

At the same time, the farm was how they made their living now and there was a lot of work to do: harvesting, preserving, and preparing the land for the colder months. Through them, we were introduced to a France where nature’s cycles dictated daily life, and each season offered new lessons about food, ecosystems, and even traditions of the region. I don’t want to overstate it, but the experience changed my wife and me. After several challenging years of teaching early in my career, this was incredibly refreshing. It felt like a reconnection not just with France, but with ourselves.

While this all happened for us in France, I believe it could have occurred anywhere. But for us, it happened in this country.

Honestly, I’m not sure how the two of them found the time, given all of the daily work that had to be done to keep the farm running. But they did.

Image credit: Keith Christiansen

Exploring the Fantasy of Rural Living: Foraging for Wildflowers in the Auvergne

On our first country visit, We quickly formed a deep friendship with Bertrand and Lorraine. We had a chance to see the country as most tourists never do. I can’t remember the number of times I was asked, “what are you doing HERE?”

My favorite was a woman in Saint-Nectaire, surrounded by cows, who simply shook her head when we said we were from Brooklyn.

“That’s nice. Welcome to the country,” she said to us.

“I think they’re lost,” she said to the cows.

Traveling to isolated spots in Auvergne to find wildflowers was our fantasy of rural life in France – and we were living it that summer.

It was a good vacation. A lot of work, but a true departure from our regular lives. We ventured out early, walking along quiet country paths through fields and meadows untouched by modernity. The landscapes were breathtaking—rolling hills and volcanoes dotted with vibrant wildflowers, each more striking than the last. But it wasn’t just the flowers that captivated us; it was the peacefulness, with only the occasional breeze or birdsong to break the silence.

At the same time, it was an adventure. The landscape was so different than where we were living in Brooklyn that every little thing was a discovery.

When I turned 50, I realized that waiting another 15 years for full retirement benefits in the U.S. wasn’t worth it anymore. The job kept getting harder and the kind of ambient stress of living there was getting to us. After already teaching for 15 years, the job was just getting harder and more frustrating.

On a level, we wanted their fantasy of rural life in France. We wondered if we could build it for ourselves also. Their example was hard not to be inspired by.

What we want vs. what we wanted

Over time, our ideas evolved. A farm is a lot of work, and we might love the idea of owning a farm in the French countryside a little more than the reality. Life outside the cities can feel remote, and adapting to that isolation isn’t easy. But who knows? We’re open to the possibility.

Yet, there was something about Bertrand and Lorraine’s life there that my wife and I connected with instantly, which is rare, especially as adults. For a while, I was certain I wanted to be just like Bertrand when I grew up—though he insisted I shouldn’t wait as long as he did to figure things out, even questioning whether he would’ve been ready any sooner himself.

Image credit: Keith Christiansen

Moving abroad had already been on my mind for years, but life kept getting in the way. It didn’t have to be France in the end, but Auvergne is where it started for us. After COVID, we knew it was time to make-the-leap. While I might have prepared differently, I’m incredibly glad we made the move.

“I should have done this 10 years ago.”

Bertrand said this one night as we sat by the fire at the end of the day. Although I usually had trouble keeping up with him working around the farm during the day, he suddenly looked tired to me. He was exactly 10 years older than me and a person who had instantly connected with me as a mentor. I don’t know if I had ever seen an example of what I wanted actually being done by someone before – anywhere.

As we sat in the flickering light, I realized that Bertrand’s words weren’t just advice—they were a challenge to stop waiting for the perfect moment. he didn’t seem to be regretting anything, just embracing the fact that he was tired. But he was also satisfied.

He wasn’t running away from his city life; he was embracing a slower, more intentional way of living. The pace of rural living was very different for him too. They were still getting used to slowing down. Even a year later, and they had only moved to another part of the country they were living in.

I imagine it’s going to take us a little bit longer.

We’ve now been living in France for 2 years. Though we’ve barely spoken in the past decade, Bertrand and Lorraine continue to remind us of what we thought we were searching for in France—or maybe, how our expectations have changed and the kinds of things that we want now, and are only now beginning to fully understand.