So here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write: while four French nationals were allegedly pulling off a $10 million heist in Canberra, back in Paris, someone was flogging presidential silverware on Vinted, and a friend was robbing the Louvre for a crown!
October 2025 was an absolute shocker for France’s reputation. More like je ne sais where all our fancy stuff went.
Quick recap of the Canberra caper: Four blokes fly 17,000 kilometres, hire a Mitsubishi Outlander, allegedly nick $10 million in luxury goods, including a $5.8 million watch, then celebrate at (of all places) a Wentworthville fast-food outlet, before getting arrested.
Days later, thieves dressed as construction workers steal €88 million in Crown Jewels from the Louvre in four minutes.
France’s criminal A-team was firing on all cylinders.
But here’s the kicker: while all this ‘Ocean’s’ drama was unfolding, back at the Élysée Palace, hospitality worker Thomas M. was running his own side hustle. His job? Protecting century-old heritage silverware. His actual activity? Nicking it and selling it online.
The audacity.
Thomas and his accomplices—his partner (an antique dealer, naturally) and a mate who works at the Louvre (yes, THAT Louvre)—allegedly flogged over 100 items, including Sèvres porcelain, a René Lalique statuette, and Baccarat champagne coupes. Some had Air Force stamps on them. Nothing says “inconspicuous resale” like presidential crockery with government markings.
Police found the stash in his locker, car, and home. He’d been at it for two years, adjusting inventory records like he was planning a career in presidential plate redistribution.
Here’s what kills me: France exports precision criminals to rob Canberra mansions using family SUVs, while the home team tries to shift palace silver on secondhand apps. It’s sending your first-string overseas while the reserves bungle things at home!
Four Frenchmen allegedly pull off surveillance-heavy heists before celebrating at a western Sydney fast food outlet. Meanwhile in Paris, someone’s listing “vintage presidential glassware, Air Force stamped” on the equivalent of French Gumtree.
Honestly, was there something in the water in Paris in October 2025?
First, the Louvre heist, then the palace silverware, then those four allegedly nicking watches in Canberra. October 2025: the month French cultural property had an existential crisis.
Both crews face serious time—Thomas and company are looking at 10 years, the Canberra Four are charged with aggravated burglary. The $5.8 million watch? Still missing, presumably in a sock drawer somewhere in western Sydney.
The lessons:
1. Don’t steal from palaces using resale apps.
2. Don’t fly halfway around the world to rob Canberra.
3. And if you work at the Louvre while your mate’s nicking presidential silverware, maybe everyone should just... not?
France, your autumn was absolutely cooked. But you’ve given us a cracking story, so merci for that.
Bon courage, lads. You’ll need it.
Judy
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