My husband goes mad if I cut the cheese wrong - and he's from Liverpool. But he does have a French name and ancestry so it must be in the blood!
I enjoyed this post because it made me chuckle but it also makes serious points - we each have our own culture, based on nationality, family, profession, clubs etc. We think it's normal, but we can easily confuse, judge or exclude others who are not in the know. It's happening on an individual and global scale.
haha this is a great post! I remember my French mom noticing my French then-boyfriend (now husband) making "big eyes" at me in a restaurant because I wasn't cutting the Roquefort the right way. Among ourselves at home, he happily cuts it any old way - maybe that's revenge for having that cheese rule drilled into him during his French childhood?
And the "bises" rules that change within so many regions! is it 2, 3, even 4 kisses on the cheek in some places? what is the level of familiarity that triggers the switch from a handshake to a bise?
And the dinner rules, and, and... thanks again for the great article! ☺️
Cultural humility is realizing every country has rules — France just admits it less. You learn most by watching: the cheese ritual, the bonjour, the mamies at the marché. Travel turns you into a student again — knife hovering above the Roquefort, waiting for the nod.
A fun and on-target post from @Shelby Chambers about some subtle rules of French life that may or may not be real rules...
One "rule" that is not really a rule that I've noticed, and drives me crazy to this day, is that at the end of what has already been a long dinner party, when the first person says "Il est déjà 1 heure? On y va, chéri?" (It's already one in the morning? Shall we get going, hon?) this in no way means anyone is going to get going.
It's usually just a first indicator that maybe people are going to start to think that the evening will eventually come to an end, which will eventually mean leaving. The time between the first "on y va?" and the actual "on y va-ing" is often about an hour, but I'd say more usually at least half an hour. I pointed this out to my French friends once and they had never really noticed it, although they agreed it was true.
Oh Shelby. This is hilarious. I wavered between your confidence and mmmm having been admonished for not knowing the rules that are not really rules are they??? Every word ring the bell of truth and real life in France. Thanks for sharing.
Very funny, and very true! When we have people over for dinner, my wife hates the Rule that the hostess should dish out the food onto everyone's plates. She does it reluctantly, except when our good friends come over, where she says to heck with it and lets everyone serve themselves. They all love it, because they can load up on what they want and skip what they don't (Jacques-who-hates-vegetables, I'm looking at you.)
My husband goes mad if I cut the cheese wrong - and he's from Liverpool. But he does have a French name and ancestry so it must be in the blood!
I enjoyed this post because it made me chuckle but it also makes serious points - we each have our own culture, based on nationality, family, profession, clubs etc. We think it's normal, but we can easily confuse, judge or exclude others who are not in the know. It's happening on an individual and global scale.
haha this is a great post! I remember my French mom noticing my French then-boyfriend (now husband) making "big eyes" at me in a restaurant because I wasn't cutting the Roquefort the right way. Among ourselves at home, he happily cuts it any old way - maybe that's revenge for having that cheese rule drilled into him during his French childhood?
And the "bises" rules that change within so many regions! is it 2, 3, even 4 kisses on the cheek in some places? what is the level of familiarity that triggers the switch from a handshake to a bise?
And the dinner rules, and, and... thanks again for the great article! ☺️
Cultural humility is realizing every country has rules — France just admits it less. You learn most by watching: the cheese ritual, the bonjour, the mamies at the marché. Travel turns you into a student again — knife hovering above the Roquefort, waiting for the nod.
A fun and on-target post from @Shelby Chambers about some subtle rules of French life that may or may not be real rules...
One "rule" that is not really a rule that I've noticed, and drives me crazy to this day, is that at the end of what has already been a long dinner party, when the first person says "Il est déjà 1 heure? On y va, chéri?" (It's already one in the morning? Shall we get going, hon?) this in no way means anyone is going to get going.
It's usually just a first indicator that maybe people are going to start to think that the evening will eventually come to an end, which will eventually mean leaving. The time between the first "on y va?" and the actual "on y va-ing" is often about an hour, but I'd say more usually at least half an hour. I pointed this out to my French friends once and they had never really noticed it, although they agreed it was true.
Oh Shelby. This is hilarious. I wavered between your confidence and mmmm having been admonished for not knowing the rules that are not really rules are they??? Every word ring the bell of truth and real life in France. Thanks for sharing.
Judy
Very funny, and very true! When we have people over for dinner, my wife hates the Rule that the hostess should dish out the food onto everyone's plates. She does it reluctantly, except when our good friends come over, where she says to heck with it and lets everyone serve themselves. They all love it, because they can load up on what they want and skip what they don't (Jacques-who-hates-vegetables, I'm looking at you.)